New Dating Framework for “Breaking Bad” Habits- helping mankind be kind of a man
As a millennial, we are on the cutting edge of technology, social media and move minute to minute- the world seems to spin faster. We are lucky to be living in this prime day and age. We can act as saviors to our parents computer problems and still impress grandma by opening a pickle jar. But of all the feel good ways of being young and hip, let’s not forget our duty of being a decent human being when it comes to dating communication.
Sure, we have dating apps where people look better and better, causing us to not settle and think there is always someone better out there. But, if this is your mindset to dating, there is framework you need to take into consideration for your dating game. There is a giant elephant in the dating world today, it’s the habit of men not being accountable or having the willpower to step up to a situation and say their true feelings. Yes, this generally is directed at men, because women tend to overly communicate how they feel.
When did people stop being decent, respectful human beings? When did we choose to hurt people even more by withholding the truth and replacing it with radio silence? Instead of saying easy phrases like “there’s no romantic chemistry”, “I’m dating someone now”, “I am no longer interested”, men have a habit of dropping off, ghosting, bailing, vanishing, dead air etc. There is no courtesy goodbye. This is not okay. This is not how our parents were raised. Proper courting is now sadly an act of the past. It is crucial to realize, you are hurting a woman more, by vanishing and leaving her guessing your status. Chances are she’s moved on and probably either is dating someone else or writing about it.
This is not the true act of a man, but rather the difference between a man and a boy. To land any kind of woman, women look for commitment, and it starts with being a decent person and “manning” up (taking control) and owning a situation. If a guy does not have the decency to make this small move, it leaves woman questioning how can he could ever have any kind of successful relationship. This acknowledgment of letting someone down nicely, does not have to be viewed as negative, hurting someone’s feeling or breaking up with someone. Hell, you may not be dating her long, which should make it even easier. By exiting a dating situation respectfully and breaking this bad habit, a man will be respected, his character won’t be bruised, but instead, he will be viewed as a decent person. Who knows, maybe you’ll end up with one of her friends, and then what-she won’t have anything bad to say about you! Remember men can face a situation; boys do not have the maturity. Ladies do not want to feel led on nor clueless. Our species cannot read your mind, grunts or body gestures. So if you want to be a hero, don’t leave her at zero.
If you feel you’ve lost interest (sometimes this is after sex):
Wrong Move: Saying you are busy, studying a lot, traveling, work commitments etc. (fun fact; woman can smell excuses)
Right Move: “I don’t think there is romantic chemistry here”
“Maybe, we aren’t compatible like I originally thought.”
If you’re dating more than one girl:
Wrong Move: Mentioning anything about monogamy or exclusivity, talking about future plans, meeting family, vacations etc.
Right Move: “I’m keeping this casual and no pressure, I’m still getting to know you”.
If a blast from the past comes back:
Wrong Move: Dropping your current situation if you are monogamous. Letting an ex back in too fast, depending on the severity of the breakup (you loved her dammit!).
Right Move: “The timing is off. I am seeing someone and I don’t want to be inappropriate” (some woman go crazy lustful over this).